DIRECTIONAL SIGNALS (not just Turn Signals)

The world is not divided into male and female – it’s divided into Signal Users and All The Other Bozos. If you follow someone who does NOT use his/her directional signal, then you automatically know that person falls into one of three categories (possibly all of ’em).

  1. Entitled – Many people – especially wealthy ones – barrel through life with a warped sense of entitlement. They do not expect to live by the same rules that the rest of the world abides by – like standing in line or saying “Excuse me.” Therefore, these privileged folks shouldn’t be expected to do lowly, commonplace things like signaling their turns or their lane changes. (Follow a Lexus, Mercedes or the like and tell me I’m wrong.) Remember: Entitled people are better than you, so get out of their way. You, too, baby ducks.
  2. Stupid – These folks are just plain D-U-M. They probably got someone else to take their driving test for them, so they never learned what that stick on the left side of the steering column was for. (Possibly to hang air fresheners from?) Stupid people are also notorious for stopping in the middle of the street to read Garage Sale signs, to chat with neighbors, or to resume their gum chewing.
  3. Paranoid – Careful, these people are busy staying under the big-corporation/government radar. They are convinced that everyone is trying to rip them off, and if they share important, personal, confidential information – like what lane they want to move into – that is tatamount to handing over their Social Security number to identity thieves. Heaven forbid they give away their upper hand in life by letting their fellow drivers know about their Top Secret plans to make a left turn.

OK, OK, I’m being a dick (hopefully a humorous one), but the message is still valid. If you (and I’m not talking about you-you; I mean the collective you) act Entitled, Stupid, or Paranoid, then you are living in Us-vs-Them mode — and that means you have pulled away from society to some degree. Thus, part of your humanity has shriveled. Want it back? Start sharing your intentions with your Directional Signal. Safety is not a guessing game, folks. The roads are not a battleground – they are a shared life experience.

Let’s be careful out there.


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